Past Not Forgotten
by BlackCrystal17
Summary: Past that was buried deep down should not be revealed. It might lead to disaster... or not? First Fanfic...Please have mercy
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is an AU where Kate isn't dead and Ziva joined the team.**

The bullpen is never dull with them around. Special Agent Gibbs shakes his head slightly as he watches the banter between his agents. A small smile threatens to creep up his lips as he quickly masks it behind his favorite cup of Starbucks coffee.

"Aw, come on Probie…. You can't possibly side with them"

"Well, she kinda has a point there Tony. Besides, I don't want spar with Kate anytime soon and Ziva could kill me with a paperclip in 18 different ways."

"See, DiNozzo? Even McGee is smarter in choosing than you do" said Kate

"I resent that! My choosing isn't that bad" Tony pouted.

"Like how you choose your dates, yes?" Ziva snickered while Kate suppresses her giggles.

"What's wrong with my dates? They're normally pretty and hot"

"Which doesn't last for more than 2 weeks" McGee couldn't resist teasing his Senior Field Agent.

"Hey-" He's cut short with a sharp smack on the back of the head. "OW!"

"Doesn't anyone have ANYTHING to do in here?" Gibbs barked

McGee, Kate and Ziva scattered back to their seats efficiently as if they've seen a ghost. They don't really want to take a share of the Gibbs-smack. While Tony is still standing there rubbing the back of his head and wondering why he's the only one who got smacked while the three of them escape his wrath.

But before he can even open his mouth,

"Because you're the senior here DiNozzo, and you're the one who started it at the first place. Now start working or your job wouldn't even last for 2 weeks."

Normally Tony would flinch at such comments, but noticing the small smirk his boss had at the corner of his lips, he realizes that his boss is enjoying as much as they are now.

The last case they had left a bad taste in their mouths. Petty Officer Jason's daughter was just 12 years old. Emily was kidnapped on her way home from school. They were too late to save her. The kidnappers have planned to kill Emily even before the ransom got in. Even though justice for little Emily had been preserved, but the sight of her cold dead little body in the abandoned warehouse and both Emily's parents crying out and mourning for the loss of their beautiful little princess still haunts the Major Case Respond Team.

Gibbs had been growling like a bear with sore head for the whole week, scaring all other NCIS agents and staffs.

McGee looked like a kicked puppy, he can't even manage to spill out a complete sentence without stuttering when talking to Gibbs. It's not like he's scared of him. Okay, he was a bit frightened of the boss, but mostly it was the shock from seeing Emily's body from the crime scene. He spent most of his time during the week in Abby's lab.

Ziva and Kate spend most of their time in the gym letting off some of their furies by sparring with each other or the punching bag till they are sore and tired enough to stop.

Abby has been crying. Looking at Emily's pictures wasn't pleasant. She was not only killed, she was tortured before it happened. She was beautiful, but in the end she was covered in cuts and bruises when they found her. McGee had been hanging out around her lab, bringing her Caff-Pows and making sure that she eats.

Ducky has been quiet. Jimmy Palmer fears for him. After the autopsy, Ducky hasn't told a single story. Though he kept telling Emily stories of the days he spent on France when he was younger, treating Emily with respect and not pity instead. He went straight home to Mrs Mallard after the work is done.

Tony took it the hardest. No one notice that he wasn't himself as they are all busy coping with what happened. Tony was pale but years of practice makes it easy for him to cover up his real emotions. He felt like something shattered within his soul. But DiNozzos don't cry. He did not speak a word after the case. Only respond when asked. He did not make any movie reference or joke or whatsoever. And it seems like he stare out to nothing sometimes. Like he zoned out. Thinking about something. Something which was buried deep inside his heart. _Sarah…._

Gibbs have been working on his boat and drinking bourbon in his basement the whole weekend until he gotten a phone call from Abby to "PLEASE" pick them up from a bar downtown.

_Flashback_

"_Gibbs!" he barked to his phone, he's not in a mood to answer at the first place._

"_Hey Bossman. Did I interrupt something? Not that I'm implying about anything, maybe you are just working on your boat like you usually do. I mean, most of the time at home you spend it on the boat right? Still, I'm not implying anything about your social life. I just think that you should go out more often you know, since you're hot and I'm sure a lot of-"_

"_ABS!"_

"_Sorry."_

_Gibbs sighs "What do you need Abs? I'm damn sure you didn't phone me just to say that I'm old and boring."_

"_HEY! YOU'RE NOT OLD AND CERTAINLY NOT BORING!!"_

_Gibbs pulls the phone away from the phone and chuckles lightly._

"_What do you need Abs?"_

"_Erm…. Actually, you see. Tony, Kate, Ziva and McGee are really really affected by the last case, not that I'm not affected after seeing Emily's face among the crime scene photos. So I got them out to unwind a little here. By the way, the punch here is damn good and- "_

"_Abs! Focus"_

"_Oh, right… well…"_

"_Well what Abs? I'm not in a mood for games. If it's not important then I'm hanging up."_

"_WAIT!"_

"_Well?"_

"_Theiralldrunk,ZivaandIcantgetallthreeofthemhomebyourselves" Abby babbles out_

"_WHAT?!"_

"_PLEASE Gibbs… You have to get here. We can't manage all of them on our own"_

"_Where are you?"_

"_New bar named Matyr's. You might need to- "Abby looks at her phone which only has dial tone on it._

_With Gibbs's driving, it only took him 15 minutes to arrive there. He knows where's Matyr's. He overheard about it from Abby just a few days ago. He enters the dimly lighted bar with wary eyes. Capturing anything suspicious while searching the place for his agents._

"_GIBBBBBSSSS~!!!!"_

_He saw a gothic girl bouncing around with hands up in the air waving towards him. Abby dash at the speed of light and gave him a tackling hug._

"_YOU CAME!!"_

_He crossed his arms across his chest. He raised an eyebrow and jerked his chin towards the table full of his agents which are definitely NOT drunk. Abby smiled sheepishly and gave an innocent look._

"_How do you suppose us to get you here if we don't do this? Come on, I'm sure the boat is still there when u go home later."_

_Gibbs shook his head slightly as he was dragged towards the table._

"_Hey Boss!" Tony greets him cheerfully. Too cheerful to his liking. He can see it through him easily. The grin he's wearing is forced and his eyes lost its usual spark .McGee still looks a bit shaken. Kate has red puffy eyes no matter how she tries to conceal them. And even Ziva look depressed. It was not normal for the Mossad assassin to show her true emotion. But spending most of her time with the rest, she often let a bit of her guard down. The level of trust from her towards them is obvious._

"_DiNozzo, Kate, McGee, Ziva and…. Ducky? Now I know who to blame."_

"_Hello Jethro. High praise. I only learn from the best" Ducky salutes Gibbs with his drink._

_Gibbs snorted._

_He can't possibly be angry with them. They know he needs company too. Grieving together is was better than grieving alone. Sure they are just co-workers but a special bond is tying them up together. They're a family. Might not be blood or perfect. But they're definitely a family. He grab a beer and sat down, listening to the banters between his agents, Abby's fast talk and Ducky's attempt in making them listen to his story about a guy he knew in his school days. In the morning he felt terrible (might be the bourbon yesterday), but at least now it's getting better._

**AN: This is my first time ever in writing a fanfic. Anyone is welcome to give me some suggestions.**


	2. Chapter 2

Sarah McGee has decided to visit her brother after she heard about the last case.

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_Flashback_

_Tim called her late at night after the Emily case._

"_Hello…. "_

"…_."_

"_Hello?"_

"_Hey Sarah… It's Tim…" Tim said quietly. Sarah could hear the sniffing behind his shaken voice._

"_Tim? What's wrong? Are you alright? What happened?" Sarah could feel the panic building in her as time passes. _

"_Sorry to worry you. I'm fine, Sarah. Just that the case…" McGee sighs and told her about what happened. "I just want to make sure that your okay. I'm sorry to scare you like that."_

"_Oh Tim. It's alright. I'm fine here. I'm safe" Sarah smiled sadly. She knows her brother is protective of her. _

"_Yeah… I know… Just making sure. I feel better confirming it though. Sorry to call you this late. Did I wake you up?"_

"_Not really. I was just reading. Are you sure you are alright?"_

"_Yea, I'm sure. I'm sorry Sarah. I think I'm just too tired. I'm heading to bed soon. I'll call u tomorrow okay?"_

"_Okay, you'll do that. Goodnight Tim. I love you."_

_Tim chuckles "Night Sarah, love ya too"_

_He hangs up and lies back on his bed. His sister is okay. She's safe. She's not Emily. McGee stares at the ceiling and moments later he is fast asleep. _

_Flashback ends_

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McGee came out of the shower and is drying his hair with his towel. He walks towards his television and switch it on.

"News… Like what we deal with isn't enough." He changes the channel. It doesn't matter what is on as long as it's not going to further agitate his bad mood. He just needs some sounds and things to look at while having his breakfast. He doesn't feel like making pancakes.

"Cereal it is then." He pours the cereal into a bowl and took some milk from the fridge. Smelling it and confirming it's still edible, he adds the milk into his bowl of cereal. He grabs a spoon and sat in front of his television, towel still on his shoulder.

When he's about to grab the first bite, the doorbell rings. He looks at the time. Which idiot is looking for him at 6.24 in the morning? He growls and put down his bowl on the coffee table. He reluctantly stands up and drops his towel on the couch.

McGee looks through the eyehole. "Crap. I take back what I said earlier." McGee thinks silently. Sarah would probably torture him for calling her an idiot. He swings the door widely.

"Sarah? What are you doing here?"

"Hi Tim. Surprise?" She looks at him innocently.

Tim continues to stare at her like she has grown three heads. She takes his reaction as VERY surprised and walks past him into the living room. Tim snaps out of it and brings his sister's luggage in.

"Cereal? I thought u prefer pancake or bacon and toast for breakfast?"

Tim shrugs "Don't feel like making them. Takes a lot of effort. Maybe you can make them for me instead?"

"I'm not even here for 5 minutes and you made me your maid already?"

"Well, yeah. Oh wait, I forgot. You can burn the kitchen along with your cooking. Thanks but no thanks. It takes more effort to clean up the mess." Tim grins as he teases her. He know she don't back down from being challenged.

"What? I don't burn kitchens. I'll show you that I can cook." She growls and Tim steps aside, letting his sister into the kitchen. Game. Set. Match. His sister is just too easy sometimes.

He stands at the counter looking at her. He cares about Sarah greatly but letting his sister take care of him once in a while isn't that bad. He watches as she fusses over in the kitchen.

15 minutes later, he's served with a plate of bacons, two hotdogs, some scramble egg, toasts and glass of…. orange juice? Since when he has orange juice in his house? The last time he bought that was 2 months ago. He looks at the glass and frowns.

"Eat up big guy. Stop staring at it."

"Orange juice, Sarah?"

"I know you have been busy these days. Even the milk in the fridge has expired. Luckily I bought a carton of orange juice for you."

Tim gulps. _"The milk expired? Damn. I didn't even notice it earlier" _McGee thinks as he digs into his breakfast.

Sarah wanders into his living room and smirked after seeing his bowl of cereal. He owes her for saving him from having stomach aches. She walks back to his brother. Leaning against the counter.

"Do you even know what soap opera you're watching?"

Tim shakes his head. Sarah takes a good look at his brother.

"Are you alright? You seem a bit pale."

"I'm fine Sarah. Stop being such a mother hen." He finishes his glass of orange juice and wipes his mouth. Tim heads into his bedroom and changes his clothes. He exited his room and look for his sister.

"You're going already? Its only 7am."

"Yeah, I thought I told you. In Gibbs's team, working hour starts at 8am" He kisses his sister on the forehead. "Thanks for the breakfast Sarah. But I have to go now. By the way, if there's no case by the end of the day, we're gathering at Gibbs's house for barbeque. I doubt he'll mind if I bring you along. I'll tell him later, okay?"

"Barbeque? Sounds fun. Who's going?"

"The usual. Tony, Abby, Kate, Ziva and Ducky. Too bad Jimmy is busy though. "

"What are you bringing?"

"Err…. I think I'll just bring over some beers."

"Men…" Sarah whispers softly. Then she looks up to her brother. "I'll make some chocolate cinnamon mousse to bring over for desserts. I think I'll go stock up your groceries as well."

"Cool." He hands her his credit card "You already know how to imitate my signature anyway."

Sarah smirks mischievously. She took the card. "Of course. That's what younger sister does."

Tim chuckles. "I'm really glad you're here Sarah." He ruffles his sister's hair. "And in the meantime, feel free to clean my place."

Sarah grabs one of the cushions and throws at him. She sticks out her tongue. McGee dodges and laughs as he sprints out of the door.

* * *

**AN: I know there aren't any Gibbs and Tony in this chapter. But there will be in the next =D**


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Sorry, i re posted this chapter. I just realized I missed out a scene. . enjoy the story =P

* * *

"I told you that we should've done this earlier."

"I told you I don't really want a gathering at my house. But I doubt any of you will listen, especially Abby."

"You just can't say no to Abby." Tony teases him.

"Not like anyone can" Gibbs grumbles softly "Why can't you all make this at Ducky's?"

"No offend to Ducky, but I'm not really good with dogs. And I don't think Ducky will be pleased if I _accidently _shot one of his dogs in the process. I can imagine Mrs Mallard chasing me with her cane after I done that though. So to avoid all the misfortunes, we'll make it at your house instead."

Gibbs looks amused by his answer as he grabs a few packets of hotdogs. Tony looks excited though.

"Stop fidgeting DiNozzo. Never done groceries before? I swear you look like you've never been into a supermarket."

"No. I never done groceries with MY BOSS before though" He cast Gibbs a megawatt grin. "Oh look, marshmallows!" Tony runs towards it and grab two packets. He then turn around, facing Gibbs. "Can we get this Dad? Please…" Tony teases Gibbs. But deep down in his heart, he would love to call Gibbs 'Dad'. That's out of option though, it would be embarrassing.

Gibbs ignored him and pushed the trolley to another lane.

Tony wanders around the ice cream aisle. He spotted the ones he's finding for. He lits up like a child on Christmas day. Not like his Christmas as a child. That was disastrous. His father would want him to wear formally. The party held was merely a show to impress other people and getting more business. All his father thinks about is his business. He would smile and address the guest politely as his father required him to. Discipline and image is the most important things in DiNozzo family. He smiled a lot when he was a kid. But those smiles would never ever reveal the true feeling in his heart. Such broken and useless child like him doesn't deserve to be happy. If he's stronger, if he's braver, she'll never get hurt. It's all his fault.

_Chunky Monkey and Rocky Road? _Gibbs thinks silently and raises his eyebrow "Marshmallow and ice creams DiNozzo?"

Tony snaps out of his thoughts and look straight up to his boss. His years of practice allow him to mask up all his emotions. Tony shrugs and smiles.

"Ziva and Abby are bringing a cake. Kate is bringing her tofu crap. McGee's sister is making mousse. How many kinds of dessert is enough for you DiNozzo?"

Tony grins widely "How about never?"

Gibbs smacks him behind his head.

"Ow, Boss! What's that for?" Tony rubs his head. "Aw, come on boss. If we can't finish it, the ice cream can be left for other nights."

"You think I'll eat that crap normally at home?"

"Of course not. You're only loyal to your black tar drink." _Even though you finished half a carton of my Chocolate Heaven the last time._

"And you're only finding an excuse to come over." Gibbs growls.

"And you like it when I come over doesn't you?" Tony flashes a megawatt smile.

Gibbs turns around, with the trolley, and walk away with a smirk hidden from Tony.

"Wait, is that a yes or a no? I know you love it when Abby and I came over for movie night. You like that right boss? I mean-"

"DiNozzo!"

"Shutting up now boss." Tony couldn't stop grinning.

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"Will you stop nagging?" Tim sighs. He and Sarah are late for the gathering. Apparently, Tim swirled his car earlier while trying to avoid the poor dog on the road. Sarah has been rambling about how he nearly destroyed her mousse.

They enter Gibbs's house without bothering to buzz the doorbell. Not like the doorbell works.

"Hey guys…."

"YOU'RE LATE TIMMY! Oh, hi Sarah." Abby drops the baking gloves and gives Sarah a big welcoming hug. She then turns to McGee and punch him on the arm.

"Ouch-"

"That's for being late!" Sarah giggles.

"I don't think the cake is going to walk onto the plate on itself Abby." Ziva says while holding out the cake.

"Oops, sorry. Timmy distracted me."

"Right….." Tim sighs. Ducky walks into the kitchen, gives a welcoming handshake for Sarah and chuckles when he spot Abby and Ziva trying to get the cake out of the pan.

"I hope the cake is still edible…" Tim mumbles softly.

"What did you just said Timmy?" Abby raised an eyebrow.

"Err…." McGee gulps.

"Timothy, why don't you go help Jethro and Anthony. They're starting the grill in the backyard. Sarah here can help Abigail out with the cake." Ducky cuts in.

McGee nods a silent thanks to Ducky and heads straight to the backyard, not bothering to look back. He's just in time to see Kate showing Gibbs and Tony her tofu crap… I mean… wrap.

_It's not that safe here either._"Hey boss, Tony, Kate. How's the grill?"

"You're late McGee." Gibbs stated and glared at him.

"I- um- I was just-"

"Relax Probie. He's just teasing you."

Gibbs smirked and went into the house. McGee sighs in relief.

"How do you even know whether he's angry or joking?"

"You observe and you learn, McGoo." Tim groans.

Kate chuckles and pats McGee on the shoulder. "Good luck with that. You want some tofu wrap?"

"Err…. I'll pass. Why don't you bring it in first? I can wait. I'm not that hungry now after all"

"Okay then." Kate walks back into the house, along with the tray of her tofu crap. Wrap.

Sarah walks out to the backyard. "Anything I can help with?"

"Hi Sarah. It's been an awful long time since I last saw you. You're still as pretty as ever. I'm glad you didn't look like McProbie here."

Sarah laughs "Hey Tony."

"You should bring let your sister visit us more often, McGee"

"That's the point Tony, I don't want you to flirt with her."

"What's wrong with a bit of innocent flirting Probie?" Tony winks at Sarah. She giggles harder.

"Argh, I can't believe you." Tim tries to distant Tony away from his sister. That's the main reason why he doesn't want Sarah to meet his co-workers. If Sarah really fell in love with Tony, he would break her heart. He's a playboy. He goes through women as if they are clothes. He won't let Tony hurt his sister like that. He has to look out for her.

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The group of girls is chatting away. Giggles and laughs can be heard from them even if from miles away. Surprisingly, Gibbs is really good at grilling steak. It tastes so good, no one can resist from second helping except for Kate. She really is serious in eating healthy. At least Ducky did not spell out the bad effects from eating too much meat and not greens. Well, they're lucky to get away this time.

"I don't think I can eat anymore, boss. I have been eating more now than the whole last week."

"We barely ate anything the whole week. We were busy with the case…." Gibbs pauses. And suddenly the atmosphere grows quiet.

_Shit... _"I- err-..." Tim stutters, he don't know what to do. _Great Timothy, you just brought up the worse subject yet._

"Hey GIRLS!!" Tony shouted "Looks what I brought!" Tony fished out a packet of marshmallows.

"Tony, what are you? Five?" Tim couldn't help but groans at his senior field agent's excitement while waving that packet towards them.

"MARSHMALLOWS!! Great thinking Tony" Abby gives Tony a big hug before grabbing it.

Kate gave Tony an amused look, "I think I can forgive you for calling us 'girls' "

Abby teaches Ziva about barbequing the marshmallow on the grill. Ziva looks surprised and smiles when she tasted it. It's really good.

"See that probie? Chicks dig that. Try asking them how old they are now. Even ZeeVah loves the marshmallows." Tony laughs and walks to join the fun.

Tim shakes his head in disbelief and joins them as well.

Gibbs smirks at their squealing in delight. It is kind of interesting how those small soft white cotton-like thingy can make them this happy. Even Ducky chuckles at their reactions. _I hope DiNozzo won't get shot from Kate if he tries to steal them from her._

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They're listening to Ducky's adventure in Europe after they finished that packet of marshmallows.

Tim noticed that Tony is staring at…. Sarah's breast?!

"TONY! What are you staring at?"

Tony snaps his head up, "What? I- No-! I'm not that perverted. Please."

Tim continues to glare at him. Gibbs itched to headslap him. Kate is ready to elbow him. And Ziva…… is toying with a knife in between her fingers. That's downright creepy.

"I'm just curious…. Your necklace, you didn't wear it the last time we saw you."

"This?" Sarah holds up "Oh, I took it to repair last time. The chain of the necklace came off."

"It's beautiful. The design on it. May I have a look, my dear?" Ducky requested.

"Sure…" Sarah took it off and handed it to Ducky.

The necklace is an emblem of the moon with words carved behind that reads "**per l'eternità**"

"Sounds like Italian. Do you have any idea what it means, Anthony?"

"Forever or eternity" Tony whispers softly. "It's beautiful. How did you get it?"

"I have been carrying that since I was a kid. That's the only clue I had towards my biological family."

"Biological?" Kate asked.

"We're not connected by blood, but we're still family!" Tim stated firmly.

Silence flooded and it is starting to grow uncomfortable.

"I thought we're having desserts?" Gibbs raises an eyebrow.

Tony claps his hand together "Ice creams! And Chocolate Cinnamon mousse!"

"Ooooh yeah! Come on Sarah." Abby drags her into the house.

Once she's out of hearing range, "Sorry, I don't mean to bring up bad memories." Tony apologizes.

"They're not bad Tony. Having Sarah in our family is a blessing. Just that we don't talk about it. It's all in the past."

The mousse was great. It tastes so damn good. At least the awkward situation have been long forgotten. But….

Everybody groans when they saw Kate bringing out her tray of tofu crap.

"What?" Kate snarled at them.

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That night Tony couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about the necklace. Damn it. Why does this has to happen? He would get her into trouble. He sighs. Tony looks at his clock. 3.46am. He stops tossing on the bed and got up to take a shower. He gulps down a cup of coffee and grabs his keys. He locks his apartment and heads to the NCIS headquarters. Perhaps some work could refrain him from thinking too much.


	4. Chapter 4

Gibbs sips his favorite black coffee slowly, savoring the rich flavor of Jamaican Blue Mountain in his mouth. This coffee is good. Okay, that's an understatement. The coffee is great. Nothing better than a great cup of coffee to start your day. Too bad the price is hefty though. With the budget he have and the amount of caffeine intake he indulges on daily basis, there is no way this coffee could fit in. This means he couldn't have as much as he likes to. Gibbs sighs at his realization. Looks like he has to stick to his normal Starbucks. It's not like Starbucks is cheap, but it is still affordable if compared to the coffee in hand.

He parks his car and headed towards the elevator. He nods a greeting to Thomas the security guard. He swiftly avoided some of the NCIS agents who are standing in the middle of the way with his usual grace and marine trained silence.

Gibbs stabs the buttons. He waited for a few seconds for the elevator's door to open. He strides into the elevator and pushes fifth floor button **(AN: I don't really know which floor the bullpen is)**. Gibbs leans against the railing and takes another sip of coffee.

Gibbs moans. _This is really good. Maybe I should cut down on my caffeine intake just to buy this Blue Mountain._ Nah… Gibbs shakes his head and chuckles at his thoughts. McGee would probably piss his pants with his level of crankiness as the cause of low caffeine in his veins. Kate would probably ignore him. Ziva might throw a dagger at him if he's out of the line. Tony would have a migraine from the headslaps.

Tony….

Gibbs hates the look Tony put on after the necklace thing. He had his usual jokes and grins, but they don't reach his eyes. Gibbs knows Tony too well. He was disturbed by something. But by what? The necklace? He feels like banging his head to the walls of the elevator if it helps him to get answers. Tony is like a big walking mystery. He knows him well, but he doesn't know everything about him. Gibbs scowls at his thoughts. He hates it when Tony is hurting and he couldn't help.

The elevator jerks to a stop at the third floor which snaps Gibbs out of his thought process. The door opens to two NCIS agents chatting away with grins plastered on their face. Silence approaches immediately when they realized who is in the elevator. Gibbs glared at them. They took a step backwards and, in a speed of light, flee to the stairs in lieu. It still amuses Gibbs how people are scared of him. He smirks behind his coffee cup when the elevator door closed again. He knows he's being mean, but he couldn't help it. He's having fun

The elevator dings, announcing his presence into the bullpen. He strides to his desk, only to stop at the sight of his Senior Field Agent who is busy jotting down notes and eyes glued to the screen of his computer. Gibbs frowned and looks at his watch. Its only 0604. Even by his standard, he's not supposed to be here in another hour.

Gibbs takes a closer look at his best agent, scanning for any signs or maybe a clue to his behavior last night. Tony looks tensed. His body language is screaming "Something is wrong!!".

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Tony is very particular and alert to his surroundings. Due to his childhood, he has daily practice of noticing the staffs, his mother and especially his father if they were near him. Since his parents are always drunk, he made sure he wasn't in the way if they were nearby. Awareness of his surroundings enables him to avoid unnecessary 'accidents' and is his best defense, for example, knowing where to run and hide if his father's rage is heading his way. He always knows if someone is watching him. He'll automatically feel uncomfortable.

Tony looked up and smiles at his boss, who is currently accessing him. Gibbs looks surprised, even though he masks it quickly behind his gruff exterior. Gibbs nods a good morning to Tony and heads to his desk. Tony felt all warm inside. Although surprising his fearless leader is fun, he relaxes knowing that Gibbs has his six. Tony knew Gibbs noticed his behavior yesterday after the necklace incident. It's still good to know someone is cared about him, but at the same time, he doesn't want him to worry too much about him. However, he is still confused. _Does he really care about me? Or is it he's thinking about what I screwed up to start my work early as cover up?_

"We caught a case I don't know about?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms on his chest and sits back.

"No, boss." Tony answered. Gibbs continues to stare at him.

Tony knows his boss is digging for answers. He's not going to cave in that easily.

Tony shrugs, "Cold case boss. I found something from the Lieutenant Rossi case from two years ago. It seems like-"

Tony continues to talk about the case. Rambling away, not giving a chance to Gibbs to talk back.

Gibbs sighs. Looks like he got away this time.

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ZIva and Kate arrive later at 0645. They put down their bags and began to talk about yesterday.

McGee arrives late and stutters an apology. Gibbs headed towards the director for a morning briefing she forced him to attend.

"So what's your excuse this time Probie?

"Sarah." McGee answered without looking up from his computer.

Ziva leans against McGee's table.

"She hasn't left yet?"

"Nope. It seems like she's having her semester break and she wants to hang out in DC."

"So what did she do?" Kate asks. She stands in front of Tony's desk.

"Except being a pain in the butt?" Ziva added on

"You mean ass." Tony corrected.

"She's not that bad to be called an ass, Tony"

"I mean the TERM is 'pain in the ass'. I'm not saying that she's an ass. Don't mislead them, Zee Vahh"

Kate clears her throat. "So what she did?" She asks again.

"She 'misplaced' my keys after she cleaned up my living room. It took us more than half an hour to find it. Then I got stuck in a jam because there's an accident nearby."

"She cleans your living room? She's your sister, not your maid." Tony raised an eyebrow.

"I told her not to. But she loves doing it. She can't even stand a bit of disarrangement. Sometimes it's a bit creepy when she has to correct even when a few magazines is out of the place." McGee rolls his eyes.

"I bet she'll have a major freak out if she's going to Tony's place." Kate snickered. Ziva and McGee laugh out loud.

"Tony's place is neater than yours, Kate. Morning guys." Abby points out. "Where is the bossman?"

"Director's. Thank you Abs and good morning to you too."

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Gibbs growls his way out. Cynthia looks down on her files. She doesn't dare to look directly to Gibbs's eyes.

He stops at the railing. He looks down to his team. Are they having a meeting there? Even Ducky is around. He likes it when they gather around talking and treating each other as a family. However, they're getting too loud. It as if he's running a nursery here. He walks slowly down the stairs and approaches them.

"Stop bragging DiNozzo." Kate snarled.

"Yeah, you're making us hungry." McGee agreed.

"Well Anthony, it sure sounded nice. Why don't you make them for us instead?" Ducky suggested.

Tony sat back into his chair, "Sure, why not?"

"You're serious?" Kate gasped.

"It's just lasagna, Kate. How hard can it be? I always make them at home."

"Don't you all have work to do here?" Gibbs barked.

His agents all scooted back to their own places while Abby and Ducky disappear back to the lab and autopsy.

---------------------------------------------------

The day seems to go slower than the usual. No new case is up. This means they're stuck with cold cases the whole day.

Gibbs noticed Tony only ate a little during lunch. Even though he had an energy bar afterwards, he is still eating less than usual.

After McGee, Ziva and Kate bids farewell, Gibbs looks at the time. 1900. He stands up from his seat and walks towards Tony.

Tony is still engrossed with the cold case. When Gibbs stands up, he looks up to his boss.

"Go home DiNozzo."

"I will be. After I'm done with this." He looks back down at his files.

"They will still be here DiNozzo. Come on." Gibbs closed his files and waited for him.

Tony sighs in defeat and reluctantly follows Gibbs. He grabs his coat and backpack and heads to the elevator.

Once inside, Gibbs pushes the emergency stop button.

Surprised by what happened, Tony hold onto the railing "Boss?"

"What's wrong with you DiNozzo?"

"Huh? I don't understand." Tony blinks in confusion. He's playing the 'act dumb' card. "Nothing is wrong with me."

"You're easily distracted. You fidgeted the whole day today. You barely ate anything. And you had to retype your report for five times. This is your definition of 'nothing is wrong'?"

_Okay, that doesn't work_. He looks straight into Gibbs's eyes and gave him a smile "I'm fine. I'm just on diet to look fitter. Kate always say I'm fat, and I'm working on my abs to impress Ziva."

"Tony, if you continue like this-"

"I said I'm fine!" He scowls. Tony reactivates the elevator "I won't let this affect my job if that's your concern. So don't you worry about it." Tony sprinted out of the elevator as soon as the door opens.


	5. Chapter 5

Tony got to his car and sped off as fast as possible. He sighs in relief after the NCIS building is out of his sight. He leans back to his seat. He has a sudden urge to break every law on the road to get back home, but he wouldn't do that to his Mustang. He loves her too much to risk her like that.

Right after he entered his apartment, he drops his coat and backpack aside.

He changes into his jogging attire. Taking only his gun, badge and keys, he headed down for a run. It has been an hour since he started his running.

He lost track of time as he only focuses on his breathing while his legs runs on autopilot. He couldn't feel anything. Numb is the perfect word to describe his current condition. It's as if his body shut down from him. He kind of likes his condition now because it allows him to push himself much further.

He unconsciously headed back to his apartment. If he stopped while he's still outside, he might spend the rest of the night there. Well, at least his brain is still working. He jogs up the stairs and into his apartment.

Tony heads straight into the shower, only stopping in his room to strip. He turns on the water heater to as much as his skin allows him to take. Then he steps below it and let the scalding water splash against his body, taking away the tension and soreness of his muscles.

He tilted his head backwards as he gratefully accepting the hot shower easing his body from the tiredness built throughout the past week. He shuts his eyes and sighs out of relief.

--------------------------------------------------

_Flashback_

"_You'll never amount to anything," a drunken Anthony DiNozzo Sr spitted those words toward young Tony and headed his way to his office._

_Tony sighed out of relief as his 'father' is finally gone for the time being. _

"_Well, no broken bones this time. This means no personal physician or hospital. What an improvement!" Tony thought positively. He shrugged on his shirt carefully and started to limp down the hall to his room. He needs to clean the welts on his back before he bled all over the carpet. He smirked thinking about the old man's reaction if he saw blood all over the hallway. _

_As tempted as he is to mess with the old man's brain, Tony doesn't think he can deal with more damage to his already battered body. He'll have to do it next time._

_Tony turned the doorknob and strides into his room and limped to the bathroom. He failed to notice his sister's presence who is sitting on his bed, waiting for him. He failed to see his sister's wide eyes, full of shock to discover what happened to the brother she loves. _

_Tony tried to reach his back to apply some cream on it but failed miserably. He got frustrated on the fifth try and threw the bottle of cream onto the opposite wall. He sat back onto the toilet seat with his face in his palms._

_Flashback ends_

--------------------------------------------------

Tony is snapped back to present as the cold water grabs his attention. He immediately turns off the shower and dries himself with a towel.

He walks into his kitchen in his sweatpants and Ohio sweater and opens the refrigerator.

_Urgh, come on. Not even some frozen lasagna?_

Tony slammed the door close and resolving to instant noodles instead. He's hungry and he could not bring himself to wait for another half an hour for food. Nor he felt like going out for dinner. As he takes out a pot, he heard knocks on his door.

Tony is ready to kill the one who stand in between his food and stomach. He swings the door wide and already prepare to growl, only to stop short at the view in front of him.

Abby with a backpack, a pizza box on the right hand and left hand picking up the half dozen of beer she brought along.

Gibbs told Abby about what happened earlier, and Abby volunteered to visit Tony for the night. Her mind started going through a crazy stream of thoughts on what to say or just apologize as soon as she say the scary look that Tony has. It's as if he's going to blow up anytime soon.

She opened her mouth to apologize and shut it close again when she notices that Tony is staring at the pizza box on her hand. The loud grumbling of his stomach tells her all she needs to know.

"I'll take that as an approval," she smiles and strolls into his apartment casually. She places her backpack next to the couch and went into the kitchen to grab a couple of plates.

Tony is still stunned at the doorway. He shakes off the shock, closes the door and heads to his living room to put on a movie. They put out the pizza and share the beer. They did not speak a word, yet they work efficiently.

Abby snuggles comfortably next to Tony on the couch in her skeleton and bones pajamas. She takes a bite off her pizza and watches the "Superhero Movies" that Tony put in. Comedy is a great remedy for this sort of tension. When she felt Tony relaxes beside her, a silent message is passed and understood between the two of them.

She would never push him and would wait for him to be ready to tell her about what happened. She will always be with him to support him no matter what happens.

Abby reaches for the blanket and covers them both when she is sure that Tony felt asleep. Tony stirs for awhile and snuggles closer to Abby. She smiles at Tony's reaction and ruffles his baby soft hair, massaging the line of tiredness shown on his forehead. She muted the television and fell asleep as well.

Tony stretches as he woke up after finally getting a full 10 hour sleep. He glances at his watch to confirm what he seen. It has been forever since he had such a long rest. He stands up and stretches out his sore muscles and felt a hand touching his shoulder.

--------------------------------------------------

_Flashback_

_Tony felt a hand touching his shoulder, he swung around fast, grabbing the hand and a small gasp was heard. His hard glare softened at his sister's sight. She was holding a towel on her left hand and was trying to wipe off the blood on his back. He could see that she had that bottle of cream he threw earlier with her._

_Realizing that his body was too tired to give a damn about what is going to happen, he allow her to help him in tending his wound. He sat down on the floor and waited while the small icy cold hands work slowly and carefully on his back. Wiping off the blood gently and applying cream to soothe the angry red welts on his back._

_He felt tears prickled behind his eyes, threatening to fall. DiNozzos do NOT cry. He bit his lips from making any sound. He felt pathetic. He's the big brother here. He's supposed to be the one protecting and helping his younger sister, not the other way around. Perhaps father was right. He kept his head down._

_When she finished patching him up with bandages. Tony turned around and faced her eye to eye. He smiled at her sweetly, kissed her on the forehead and whispered her thank you. He picked her up from the floor and helped her clean off the blood on her hands. Then he grabbed a sweater from his closet and changes her clothes. He scooped her up into his arms and led her to his bed._

_Tony placed his sister under the comforter and joined her as she snuggles into her brother. Tony continued to ruffle her hair and gently told her a bedtime story while she finally falls asleep in her brother's safe arms._

_He heard her mumbles in her sleep, "I love you, Tony…" _

_Flashback ends_

--------------------------------------------------

"Tony... Tony?"

He felt the hand shaking his shoulder, demanding his attention. He turns around and finds himself facing the goth. She looks at him with concern.

Tony smiles softly towards her and opens his arm wide. A clear invitation to Abby. Abby took the signal and gives Tony a bone crushing hug. Abby is just like a sister to him. He loves her very much and he is sure she does too.

After a few minutes, none of both have the desire to move from this stance until Abby's muffled voice is heard saying, "I made pancakes and I don't think Gibbs will be glad if you are late."

"Late?" He glances to the clock which says 7.15am. "Crap!"

Tony runs into his room and gets ready in record time. He comes out to Abby pouring the coffee into traveling cups.

"Come on Abs. I'm gonna be late!!" He stuffs the pancakes into his mouth while dragging a laughing Abby out of his apartment.

* * *

**AN: Thanks guyz for the wonderful reviews! My laptop crashed few weeks ago and the fixing up took a lot of time. Sorry for the long wait.**


	6. Chapter 6

Gibbs had been worried, not like he would show that or tells that to anybody. He spent the whole night with his boat in his basement. He was hoping Abby could fix the problem. He knows Tony would slam the door at his face if he tries to reason with him at his apartment after such encounter at the elevator.

He's not good at expressing his feelings. If he had been straight forward with Tony, maybe things wouldn't be this difficult. But damn his communication skills. He could calm scared children, interrogate and intimidate the most stubborn marines or suspects, he could even argue with higher ups to get what he need for his case without breaking a sweat, but he couldn't make himself to use the correct tone to voice out his concern about his Senior Field Agent.

Instead of asking about his wellbeing, it turns out he was misunderstood to be questioning his agent's capability of coping with the situation. No wonder he had so many ex-wives.

Gibbs was so engrossed with his thinking, he remembered the wide eyes on Tony when he was being questioned, how his expression darken, his posture became stiff and his harsh way of speech which was last heard when he was having a heated argument with his Chief back in Baltimore when he didn't allow Tony to follow a lead which might save a poor innocent bystander. And of course Tony disobeyed it, but he eventually saved the victim's wife from the petty officer who killed her husband.

_PRAAKKK!! _Gibbs was so deep in thought that he was snapped out to reality when he heard the loud breaking sound. He looked into his hands which are each holding a piece of one wooden plank which he's supposed to be bending it for the boat. _Great…_ He overbent it. Instead of one piece, he had two now. He groans and threw the plank aside, grabbed his bourbon and took a swig.

--------------------------------------------------

Gibbs woke up with a sore back. He stretches out, feeling the joints popping into places. He winces at that sounds. Well, that's the result for falling asleep under the damn boat. He brushes off all the sawdust that landed on his clothes. He rubs his face with him palms. _Time for work._

Gibbs managed to get his special super strong black coffee for the morning to wash away all the sleepiness. Despite what others thought about him as an ironman who doesn't need much sleep and survives on coffee, he is still human. He finish off his sandwich and heads for NCIS headquarters.

McGee is sipping his coffee when Gibbs reached the bullpen. It's exactly 0800. Normally Gibbs arrives way earlier than they are. He looks closely at his boss, noticing the dark circles beneath his eyes. When he notices that Gibbs is glaring at him, he gulps as he muttered an "M-morning, boss."

Gibbs nods a greeting and sits behind his desk. Kate and Ziva greet him as well and quickly finish up their conversation. Kate winks to Ziva to indicate they'll talk about it later.

McGee saw the exchange and raises an eyebrow towards them. Ziva flips a paperclip and flashes him a dangerous sweet smile. McGee's eyes widen and he focuses his eyes to his computer screen.

Never mess with an assassin if you want to live. Not as dangerous as rule 23, but close enough (Rule 23: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live). Ziva might kill someone with a paperclip in 18 different ways but Gibbs can kill with just his famous Gibbs-stare.

--------------------------------------------------

Tony dropped off Abby at her lab before heading to the bullpen. Abby gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek before sending him off to the elevator.

Tony chuckles at her adopted sister's action. It's like she's sending him to school or something. It feels kind of nice though. He blushes at the thought.

Tony straightens his tie and pulls the corner of his suit, smoothening it. He then fixes his hair, making sure that they are still spiky as it should be. When the elevator dings, indicating his presence, he walks out of it and enters the bullpen casually.

"Good morning everybody~!"

"Morning Tony. Had a good night yesterday?" McGee is glad Tony appears to break the tension around here.

"Better than yours probie, better than yours."

"Oh? Who's the new chicken Tony?"

"Chicken?!" Tony raises an eyebrow and allow his backpack slides down to the floor next to his desk while still staring at Ziva.

"She means chick." Kate explains without missing a beat.

"Oh! Why do you think there must be a woman Zee-Vah?"

"Because it's you we're talking about?" Kate snickers at the Ziva's response. McGee is silently glad that they've change their target of torturing.

"Yeah, you can't be that happy if you're watching James Bond or Magnum PI alone last night."Kate teases.

Tony face darkens at that sentence. This is ridiculous. He wants them to think that he's a playboy. That's his façade, a mask he spent year honing. A mask that keeps him out of trouble (although sometimes it leads him directly into one), a mask that makes other people to show their vulnerable side to him comfortably, a mask to put down other people's guard, and most importantly, a mask to make people accept him. However, this time it feels wrong. Do they really see him as someone who chases off every skirt his eyes catches?

Gibbs has been watching Tony like a hawk ever since he enters the bullpen. He relaxes when he noticed that Abby brought back a bit of Tony-ness back in him. That should be enough for the moment. But noticing how Tony reacts to what Kate and Ziva says, he's going back to the same person he's becoming last night. Tony has just steps out of his protective shell, he's not going to allow him to keep himself all bottled up again.

"Where the hell are your reports? I want them on my desk by 1000. Get back to work if you don't want to lose your job!!" Gibbs barks at them.

_Saved by the bell… or the bosses' barking._ Tony nods a thanks to Gibbs. Gibbs smiles at him. He smiles back and power up his computer. Wait a minute. Gibbs smiles??

Tony rubs both of his eyes and look at Gibbs again. His boss is currently signing off some paperwork. No smiling, but he seems irritated by the paperworks on hand. He shakes his head and slaps himself lightly on his cheeks. Gibbs snorted silently when he saw Tony's confusion at the corner of his eyes. Looking up now will ruin everything. Messing with DiNozzo's brain every now and then is fun.

Tony starts pulling up cold cases that Abby helped him downloaded a few days ago. He finished his report yesterday and he wants to double or triple check those cold cases without having his teammates know.

Showing them his hardworking or rather obsessive type doesn't really goes well with the Anthony DiNozzo that he shows to them. He snickered silently at McGee's, Ziva's and Kate's reaction if they really found out about it. He's always the "work smarter, not harder" kind of guy to them. No point in showing them the truth. It is fun to see their surprised look when he got the information instead when he was 'slacking off' and while they worked their ass off and didn't get what Gibbs wants.

They all handed up the reports in an hour, but Tony only hands it at exactly 1000. Gibbs smirks when Tony places the report in his hands. Tony flashes him a megawatt grin. He knows that Gibbs knew he had finished his report yesterday and was checking on some other cases at the past two hours.

--------------------------------------------------

Tony is in the head, washing his hands when he hears the door opens. He lifts up his head to see a staff rushing out of the toilet. He dries his hands with tissues and turned around to leave when he notices he's not alone.

He groans when he saw Ziva and Kate standing in front of him.

"Not you too Kate! How many times do I have to tell you Zee-Vah? It's called 'The Men's Room' for a reason!"

"Women have the word 'men' in it. And I don't see a problem entering here unless you are doing something else here…" Ziva smirks devilishly at Tony.

"Enough Ziva. We're here to talk Tony."

Tony sighs and leans at the sink. "Well, I'm listening. Whatever you want to say, say it quick. I hate to have Gibbs caught all three of us in the head. I have reputation to maintain here. Not to mention, Gibbs probably headslap me into next year."

Kate smiles and says "We're sorry, Tony"

Tony blinks at Kate. Did he hear it right? Or is it just a hallucination his mind made up like with Gibbs earlier. _I must be getting crazy._

Kate as a profiler noticed that Tony is behaving strangely these past weeks. She thought he was fine this morning and decided to tease him a little. When she saw his face darken, everything in her mind pops into place. It was a bit strange how a very moody DiNozzo changes into a cheerful one just overnight. Now she knows that he's only hiding it, choosing to cover it behind his smiling face.

She told Ziva about what she observed and Ziva seems to agree with her. Ziva noticed things are a little off with Tony nowadays and they definitely hurt him with their words earlier. The normal Tony would fend himself from such a joke with another joke at ease.

However the Tony they are dealing with now is far more vulnerable than the one they usually banters with. Careful words are the key to not agitate him too much.

Tony is stun with the apology. "I-I-I…" Tony sighs again. He shuts his eyes for a while. Taking time to rearrange his emotions and opens them slowly.

"It's alright. I'm fine guys."

"No it's not. We shouldn't have gang out on you like that."

"Gang up Ziva"

"Yeah, that too."

--------------------------------------------------

They headed back to the bullpen after the small chat. They have settled the awkward situation for the time being since they had been called back to the bullpen by McGee. Gibbs is on the phone. When they approach him, he hangs up.

"Grab your gear. Dead marine at Quantico."

They rushes to the elevator after gearing up.

"On your six, boss!"

* * *

**AN : Hey, guyz... Thx for reading the story. I know my english sucks and my grammar is stuck on a certain level. Thank you for baring with me and to continue reading it. Remember to gimme a review!! Lots of love from me to u guyz ^^v**


	7. Chapter 7

The evidence led them on a wild goose chase which ended them up at a small town off the grid. Boondocks. Just perfect. Lack of proper supply, lack of equipment, lack of internet connection, lack of civilization and most importantly lack of cooperation from the town's LEO.

Apparently, most of the townspeople do not welcome strangers entering their place, due to their belief that strangers would always bring trouble to their peaceful town.

Everywhere they went people would stare with hidden rage and disgust. Tony hates the place. Hate is too strong a word to describe his feelings. He is more to 'not comfortable' under their gaze. As if they're expecting him to do something that would bring harm to their town, like turning into a Godzilla and start spitting fire all around it.

They had been forced to track down the suspect without the usual 'gadgets' they depend on so much. McGee tried his best to creatively connect and modify an old desktop computer and printer to suit their needs. Mostly they use the 'traditional police works' (as stated by DiNozzo) to track down that bastard.

They spent keep hitting dead end on his whereabouts and have to start back at square one a few times. He is very good at hiding and appears to be very careful and detail in not leaving a single trace for them to track. Things are getting frustrating when the suspect finally made a mistake.

He made a mistake of trying to kidnap a kid from the neighborhood. His thirst for the smell of blood betrayed his consciousness. He grabs the kid in the daylight. Although it is a small quiet town, NCIS has been going around searching for more clues at the moment. The shrieking of the kid can be heard from miles.

Lieutenant Lewitt Marks manage to grab hold of a five year old. The kid was crying hysterically, kicking and screaming to escape his clutches. However, Marks only holds on tighter onto him.

Little Tommy's mother was at the edge of fainting as she witness her son in the hands of a madman with a dagger aiming at her baby's throat. She felt her arms being pulled. She looks up into a group of federal agents with guns on their hand, approaching the kidnapper. Two local police officers lead her away to secure the scene.

She does not want to leave her baby alone, but she has no choice as the two officers grab her firmly but gently on both arms, leading her away.

"You don't want to do this, Marks" said Gibbs in a calm tone "Let the kid go."

Marks was surrounded. Ziva and McGee are pointing their sig at Marks back while Kate is at his right side, blocking the view of Tommy's mother being led out of the scene. Gibbs is in front of him, telling him to put down his weapon. Tony is on his left, taking small steps approaching him while coaxing him to drop the weapon, making sure he would not hurt the kid.

Normally this would work out smoothly, but Marks just isn't your everyday ordinary Joe. His mind is as messed up as his actions.

Marks' eyes glance around madly, trying to seek for a way out of this mess. _Why couldn't these idiots just leave me alone? Why do people always have to butt into things which are clearly NONE of their business??_

The more he thinks, the crazier he gets. He can hear voices streaming across in his mind.

_You're worthless._

_You're like a cursed casted upon me. What have I done to deserve you?_

_I hope you have a painful death._

"Shut up... shut up…." Marks mumbled and without noticing, the dagger grazed Tommy's neck as he frantically tried to stop the voice within his head.

"Put the kid down Marks" said Tony as he noticed a trickle of blood dropping from the kid's neck.

"I SAID SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"

Marks roared and threw the kid aside while lunging himself onto Tony, who is the nearest to him, knocking Tony's gun off his hand in the process.

The force knocks the wind out of Tony. Marks land exactly on top of him. The back of his head was smashed against the concrete of the sidewalk. While still in a dazed state, Marks plunges the dagger into his left side and twisted the dagger.

* * *

A/N: Sry guys for the loooooooooooooooong wait. Been busy balancing myself between working, studying and assignments D:

Please leave ur lovely reviews and thoughts for me so that i can write more than this . (lots of love from me to u guyz!!)


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Firstly, I want to thank RuthLeilani for beta-ing my story. Thank you sooooo much for correcting my terrible english .

and I want to apologize for the not updating this for such a long time... sry~

* * *

Tony's scream was ringing through the air. He writhed under the body of Marks, struggling to escape the raging man who was pummeling him.

Ziva grabbed him from behind and threw him off Tony in one swift movement. She surprised the attacker and disarmed him in the process. Her assassin training kicking in, Ziva twisted his shoulders back, forcing him face down in the ground. She bent his arm awkwardly behind his back with strong force. With a loud and clear _SNAP!!_ a bone broke. Marks squirmed pathetically for one last time before stopping still to focus on his breathing through the pain in his arm.

Handcuffing Marks with no further trouble, Ziva handed Marks over to the local officers roughly and headed over to Tony.

Kate was already with him, pushing onto the wound, creating pressure to stop the blood flow. Gibbs was holding firmly onto Tony's upper body while McGee was straddling his legs to keep the wounded, but still struggling man down.

"DiNozzo! Calm down!" Gibbs ordered in a firm but gentle tone.

"Tony, I know it hurts like hell, but you need to stop moving. You're agitating your wound," Kate tried to tell Tony using her calmest tone.

McGee paled on the sight of blood pooling on Tony's shirt and the floor.

Ziva crouched down near Tony's head, ruffling his hair and tried to cradle his head onto her lap.

"Tony, will you stop moving? It's just a scratch, stop being a baby." Ziva whispered softly to his ear, trying to make Tony focus on her teasing voice instead of the pain.

But, Tony could not hear any of their voices. He was trapped in his own world of pain and darkness.

* * *

_Flashback starts:_

"_It hurts…_

_It hurts so bad…._

_Damn it, it really fucking hurts…"_

_Tony's eyes flutter open. He blinks a few times to get rid of his blurred vision as he stares up to the DiNozzo Mansion's well-crafted ceiling patterns._

"_Seriously, who's going to even notice what's UP there? Taking your time looking up at the patterns is tiring. Anyone's neck is going to break before one's even finished noticing what kind of fucking patterns are UP there. Well, a DiNozzo does not do anything by half measure. Even at places where no one notices everything has to be perfect. At least the façade has to be impeccable. Is that a slight crack on the dragon's head of the pattern? Gahh… I must be crazy… Who cares anyway?" Tony thinks silently to himself._

_Tony is lying flat on his back, he is pushing himself up slowly, examining the damage, that's been done this time. Not even halfway up, he loses control of his limbs and goes back down, finding himself in the same position he woke up in. He gasps and pants heavily after his exertion._

_Everything hurts._

"_Focus Tony! Calm down you idiot!"_

_Tony shuts his eyes tightly and forces himself to breath properly. After gaining his back breath, he tries again. He pushes himself up using his elbow. When he finally sits upright, he cheers internally for his great accomplishment. _

_Tony glances at the glass shards that are scattered on all over the floor. _

_It would be a beautiful view, tiny glass shards like beads scattered on the dark expensive carpet, shining like stars on a peaceful night. Any other time, it could have been an innocently beautiful picture. Well, without the blood spilled on the floor, it would look perfect._

_Sarah and him always spend the nights watching lots and lots of movies, from cartoons over comedies to the classics. He makes sure for Sarah not to see the horror ones, or too bloody action movies though. He doesn't want to scare her off any further._

_Sarah always says that he is her 'Bond'. Tony chuckles on that thought: Sarah comparing him to the great James Bond! _

"_I'm no hero" Tony thinks to himself "But I can pretend that I'm on a mission!"_

_Tony gets a grip onto the nearest object, which happens to be the coffee table and pulls himself onto his knees. He pants through the pain and forces himself to stand._

_He sways dangerously before finally standing still on his two feet. After making sure that his balance is not off, he tentatively starts shifting his feet to move, he carefully places one at a time. With every step the glass shards slice into his feet, he is only wearing socks and those do little to protect his sensible skin._

_He shuffles slowly through the room. His sole mission now is to get back to his room before passing out once again. His main target, the one he desperately focuses on, is to reach the door, so he hardly notices when his feet scrunch through the shards as he makes his way to the exit. Everything hurts more than his feet; it's really the least of his concerns right now. _

_This time Father had been tripped over by seeing that his report card this term was not perfect, at least not up to the standards he holds. He had beaten him up badly and then, in a fit of rage, had thrown him into the big glass cabinet that dominated the drawing room. _

_He had been lying in all these glass and blood but Father still had not laid off, instead straddled him so he was smashed down by the full body weight of his father, putting his hands around his throat and strangling him._

_He had been on the verge of dying from lack of air, when eventually Father let go and went away on the search for more alcohol. Tony had passed out on pain and hypoxia. _

_When Tony finally reaches his room, he locks the door and heads to the bathroom. He tries plucking out all the shards from his back, side, bottom and his thigh. He turns on the water to fill up the tub._

_After his attempt to pluck out as much of the glass as he can, he lows himself into the water and sighs, grateful for the soothing water's effect on his bruised body. The water gradually turns red, but Tony could not care less. He closes his eyes, relaxing in the tub._

"_Finally! Mission Accomplished!!"_

_He thanks God that Sarah is currently having a few nights of sleepover party at his aunt's place. His mother's sister is quite fond of both of them, she tries her best to care for Tony and Sarah. However, with DiNozzo Sr. as their father, it is hard to do so. _

_Aunt Jackie had invited Tony over as well. Tony would have loved to go, but in order to get Sarah to stay away from the mansion as long as possible, Tony had to stay near DiNozzo Sr. If Father had Tony to focus on, he would probably forget about Sarah's absence. Then it would be easy to keep her there for more than two weeks without their father noticing._

_Tony relaxes further into the water, welcoming the darkness and oblivion as he slips into unconsciousness._

_Flashback ends_

_

* * *

_

Abby was fiddling with the edge of Tony's blanket with her right hand, while clinging tightly onto Tony's hand with her left. She had placed Bert next to Tony on his hospital bed.

Abby had nearly freaked out, big time, when she heard what had happened. She had threatened to kill anybody who tried to stop her from getting to the man she regarded to be her big brother. She could be scary that way.

Gibbs was sitting next to Abby, staring at Tony's fragile body, which was hooked up to all kinds of machines. He silently thanked whatever God there was, when the doctor had declared that there was no need to put Tony on the ventilator. The ventilator was creeping Gibbs out.

Gibbs immediately noticed the slight flickering of Tony's eyelids. He rose abruptly and leaned down to Tony.

Abby sensing his movement also, began to look at Tony for more signs of awakening.

They watched eagerly as Tony's eyes fluttered open slowly. Abby instantly pressed furiously on the emergency button to alert the nurses.

"About time DiNozzo." Gibbs whispered to Tony, smoothing his hair gently, the way a parent would to his frightened child.


End file.
